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Woody Allen the theologian

"Kant was right. The mind imposes order. It also tells you how much to tip.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

God is silent. Now if we can only get man to shut up."


Allen lacks a college degree, and he freely admits that he was ejected from both New York University and New York City College. However, in a classic joke he claims that while a student he was attracted to such abstract philosophy courses as “Introduction to God,” “Death 101” and “Intermediate Truth.” His downfall came when he cheated on his metaphysics final. “I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me,” he explains.


Because he is a voracious reader who goes in for heavy reading about ultimate concerns, his humor can be appreciated especially by those familiar with the pretentiousness of some religious and philosophical literature. In a parody on Hassidic tales, Allen concludes one commentary by saying, “Why pork was proscribed by Hebraic law is still unclear, and some scholars believe that the Torah merely suggested not eating pork at certain restaurants.”

“Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down” and “I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.”

-Woody Allen
Text by John Dart

For more on this subject visit http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=1171

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